Wednesday, 17 February 2010

I'm David Page........And thats why I drink

Sturgeons law says that '90% of everything is crud', i prefer crap or shit but lets not talk semantics. 90% of the internet is crap, 90% of Blogs on the internet are crap and by extension 90% of your opinions on your Blogs on the internet are a complete waste of both your time and, more importantly, mine.
I would just like to make it clear that i couldn't give a shit if;

you've recently returned from an X-Factor audition
your child has won 'Little Miss Swindon 2007'
you passed Alan Sugar in the street
your utterly misguided religious beliefs have given you success in the workplace
you believe that bankers deserve their excessive bonus'
you believe that bankers don't deserve their excessive bonus'
you think Eminem is a modern poet
you think Britney Spears is a role model

I'm not listening.
Nobody is listening.

In fact, the next time you feel the need to drone on about Simon Cowells musical genius, Katie Prices current romance, or Garry Glitters latest transgression, just take a moment to place your mouse in the hole that produces all of this inane and nonsensical chatter, wrap the cord around your neck, proceed to beat your stupid face with the computer keyboard and then publish whatever turns up on your screen as you fall choking to the floor. It will be infinitely more interesting.

Opinions are for idiots and so I will leave you with the opinion of a drunk, who in your opinionated eyes probably doesn't deserve an opinion and yet speaks more wisdom below than you will ever manage in a life time of opinionated blogging!

'............and that's still not enough so you go home and then you write blogs in the middle of the night cause you haven't had your opinion heard enough.......... you'll probably blog about this segment 'Doug Stanhope ruined Newswipe, why is that fat headed alcoholic on this show, get rid of him.'

You know what? there's a good chance I might stumble across that blog when I'm sitting alone, in some hotel room and I'm....... in the middle of the night and I'm I'm drinking vodka and yoghurt cause I drank all the mixers out the mini bar and yoghurt is all I have left from breakfast when I thought I could eat solid food but I was wrong. and I'm gonna find the blog where you say I suck and it'll hurt my feelings. So let me circumvent your blog before you even write it by answering, in kind
Go fuck yourself.
I dont care what your opinion is.'

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